30 Oct 2019, 18:18 53
MarySo what.. what's the point. So you want to find him, but why? Doesn't he show up only when he wants or something? Give him some space, geez.
AJYou know, I don't even know why. I guess sometimes I just need a confirmation. Some proof that he's real.
MaryBut what do you get out of that?
AJ...closure?
AJLook, I've stopped questioning this. I said a lot of things recently and probably made an impression that I want to see him. But it's not a matter of want so much as a matter of need.
AJI'm not doing this for myself, I'm only acting as a chemical reagent of sorts. If I'm worried about a sudden lack of clarity and the absence of Tyler, that means he's fucking up.
MaryOh, so it's his fault somehow :/
AJNono, he'd do the same if I were becoming attached to things, identities, or my ego had grown bigger. And I value that. Sure, at the beginning we pissed each other off tremendously, but then we kinda grew to appreciate each other's ability to sort things out.
MaryHmm, that's interesting. I always thought that the excess of social interaction had always made him escape and hide for awhile. That maybe.. you annoyed the shit out of him. I thought this would be one of the things when.. he'd just blow up.. and say "it's becoming too much, fuck it, I have to deal with him". Or you know.. Or else.
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